Is Anyone Really Surprised About Phillip Schofield...? Lessons Learned from a Minor Celebrity
Treat People Like Gods and They'll Behave Like Devils
I despair at the general public’s response to celebrities and the scandals they’re involved in. A case in point is the recent furore surrounding Phillip Schofield: a man who was celebrated by pretty much everyone for ‘coming out’ as gay despite having lived a lie for decades, cheating on his wife throughout. Those celebrating him included Holly Willoughby (his co-presenter on This Morning) and Eamon Holmes who - live on air - held Schofield’s hand, gave him hugs and shed tears, as much for him as they did the cameras. Irrespective, it made good television.
In the past few weeks, those many celebrities - including Willoughby and Holmes - along with the majority of the British public are seemingly ‘shocked’ that Schofield is a liar. Him being a liar centring on a “not illegal” relationship he had with a 15 year old schoolboy who - by sheer coincidence - secured a job as a production assistant on This Morning three years later. Nothing to see here, right…?
What’s ‘shocked’ me is the number of celebrities, commentators and journalists that are now referring to Schofield’s lies and relationship as the “worst kept secret in showbiz”. Shame on all of them - and indeed others - for not speaking up beforehand even though they all clearly knew exactly what was going on.
Clearly nothing was learned from the Jimmy Savile scandal. Then again, let’s not forget that Schofield himself claimed "there wasn't one hint of who [Jimmy Savile] really was" during the many times they met with each other. This from a man who worked at the BBC at the same time as Savile, the same media corporation that in 1978 banned John Lydon (nee Rotten) for revealing the ‘best kept secret in showbiz’: that Savile was a paedophile.
Am I surprised…? Not at all.
Why…? Because I was in a relationship with a minor celebrity - a popular, regional radio presenter - and saw first-hand exactly what the entertainment industry and celebrities are really like.
Here are the lessons I learned.
The ‘Talent’ is Untouchable
For those who don’t know, regional radio presenters through to those like Schofield are referred to by those in production and other support roles as the ‘Talent’. Accordingly, the Talent will have their every need catered for depending upon their level of fame: each typically having one or more people who do everything for them. From making sure they have a hot drink - made to their exact requirements - waiting for them on arrival in the studio through running errands to giving them an alibi when they’re cheating on their partners to ensuring they have the drugs du jour as and when required.
The Talent are not expected to anything for themselves nor do they expect to do anything for themselves. In this respect, the Talent are totally infantilised. And because they’re infantilised, they neither expect nor expected to be accountable for their actions no matter how abhorrent or unacceptable they might be: Savile and Schofield being just two examples.
Irrespective of whether you’re a major or minor celebrity, if you treat them like a god at least some are going to act like devils. And that is exactly what happens. Whether it’s This Morning or a regional radio breakfast show, the Talent not only think they’re untouchable but so too do those who work with them treat them as though they’re untouchable. Because so many people are happy to turn a blind eye, the Talent do whatever they like.
There are Many ‘Best Kept Secrets’
That said, the Talent do whatever they like until they can’t. And when they can’t, what everyone knew the Talent was doing suddenly becomes a ‘best kept secret’.
And from experience, there are two types of ‘secrets’.
The first are ‘secrets’ that in the right circumstances, are openly spoken about in the company of outsiders like me. On the whole, these are boastful or gloating ‘secrets’: about the amount of sex and/or affairs being had, about how someone’s wife/girlfriend was a ‘beard’ to cover the fact they were gay, or that their coke habit had got out of hand. An example of this occurred at a Christmas party when having been introduced to one half of a well-known radio presenting duo, I was subsequently told how many members of The Saturdays girl-band they’d allegedly had sex with.
The second type of ‘secrets’ are far more troubling, only spoken about once they had ‘gone public’. An example of this occurred in 2014 when Rolf Harris was convicted of 12 counts of indecent assault. Soon after, I was told how he was widely known as ‘Happy Hands Harris’.
Even more troubling was a ‘secret’ I was made privy to after the Lost Prophets singer Ian Watkins pleaded guilty to 13 child sex offences. Straight after, I was told about ‘rumours’ about him liking ‘young girls’ for years. The person I was in a relationship with even had a story about a young girl she suspected had had sex with Watkins.
When a ‘secret’ goes public, those who knew about it - and were complicit due to their silence - will do exactly what Willoughby is doing now. In the same way she is trying to distance herself from Schofield despite having worked alongside him - and no doubt knew what he was doing - so too will others, desperate to ensure that when it comes to them nothing sticks. The Talent’s only concern is about themselves.
They’re All as Fake as Fuck
When Willoughby sat on the This Morning sofa and cried with Schofield about his ‘coming out’, it was likely that the entire episode had been staged and scripted. When it comes to the media, rarely if indeed anything ever happens spontaneously or by chance. That’s not how This Morning works nor regional radio.
Until entering into - and subsequently exiting from - a relationship with a minor celebrity, I thought that everything that happened on air was live unless otherwise informed. But that’s not the case. Not only are almost all celebrity interviews pre-recorded and edited but so too are calls from listeners, especially those who happen to win competitions. As regards the latter, it’s not uncommon for winners to be asked (told?) to be more enthusiastic and to say certain phrases. Why wouldn’t they when they’re likely to be clipped up and used later in the day…?!?!
What’s even more fake however is the Talent themselves. This was made no more clearer to me than when Michael Jackson died in 2009. While the minor celebrity I was in a relationship with loathed Jackson, she claimed on air to be in mourning four days in a row. On the first of those days, she also broke down in tears.
In the same way her co-presenter and the production team all knew she didn’t care about the passing of Jackson, so too did all those sharing a sofa - and tears - with Schofield already know he was gay. Everyone except you is in on it and only you is the one believing it. Nothing is real, they’re all as fake as fuck.
It’s True - Celebrities Hate You
Finally, anyone who cares about any celebrity shouldn’t. Even if you meet a celebrity and they’re nice, telling you they value their fans, I promise you they don’t. In fact, they’re probably taking the piss out of you as soon as your back is turned. Because they’re all fake as fuck and always performing, they’re doing the exact same when they meet you too. They know what to say and how to act in front of you but deep down inside, they have utter contempt for you.
If you don’t believe me, have a look at Robbie Williams using hand sanitiser on stage after touching a fan. Years before using hand sanitiser became a thing due to COVID-19, Williams did so because he - like all celebrities and Talent - believe that you are dirty and lesser than him despite claiming it was a “bit of panto”.
But they not only think you’re dirty and below them but that you’re stupid, embarrassing, ugly and more. They hate the way you dress, the way you speak, the way you believe the hype about the, the way you think you know them, the way you put them on a pedestal - everything. To them, you are everything they are not. And as they are everything, then you can only ever be nothing.
It’s Who You Know
Finally, there is nothing untoward about Schofield getting his ‘acquaintance’ a job on This Morning. This is the norm. The media and entertainment industries are in no way meritocratic: instead, it’s all about who you know and what you know.
My minor celebrity partner’s mum was an actor as was her dad. Her daughter, despite having no experience or training in the media secured a radio presenter role in the same company as her mum.
Coincidence…? Of course not.
If you have aspirations to work in the media then forget about it. Unless of course, you’re having sex with someone famous or have a famous parent who can open doors for you. Even better, you could have both.
That’s right isn’t it Phil…?
